The EASY Way out?

For my entire life (well, at least as long as I've struggled with weight - say, age 12?) I have heard that the only way to lose weight is by working very hard and eating in the right caloric range. Period.

Now, I often deviated from that. I tried every diet I heard about. Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Volumetrics, French Women Don't Get Fat, Stop the Insanity, Protein Power, Carb Addicts Diet, Mayo Clinic Diet (which was not sanctioned by Mayo, but was really low carb), grapefruit diet, Dexatrim, Adipex (prescription speed), Weight Watchers again, raw foods, YOU NAME IT. I tried it. And, I also just got "back to basics." Low cal, lots of exercise. I ate 1200 to 1500 calories a day for months at a time, and exercised at LEAST 1/2 hour to 1 hour per day.

My stepmom, during one of these stints, commented on how my willpower was amazing - that she could never do that. (She's slender and has never been fat, so she's not really had to try, though she always tried to exercise and watch what she ate)

So here I am at age 42, pushing 43, and frankly I'm tired. I have lost and re-gained the same 50 to 100 lbs over and over and over again. I have watched others do the same. I auditioned for The Biggest Loser but then realized I did not want to do that after finding out that a LOT of their alumni have gained most of the weight back. And, after watching people work their asses off only to GAIN two lbs in the weigh-in. And, I've thought, "What the hell? I might as well just be Cathy Bates' character in Fried Green Tomatoes, and just give up and get REALLY fat.

I am two years (nearly) past my divorce. I lost about 50 lbs just after the separation - put it back on again. I look at my father, who has struggled with his weight all his life (we look alike, and I definitely have his genetics). He has had two heart attacks, one bypass surgery, a haital hernia, Type II insulin dependent diabetes, and still, at age 65, struggles with his weight. About a year ago, he went on Nutrisystem. He has lost quite a bit of weight. I HOPE that he can keep it off once he starts eating "normal" food again. He told me that it was either Nutrasystem or the doc said he wanted him to get Weight Loss Surgery. Dum dum DUM *sounds of the scary music inserted*.

It niggled at me. I lost about 30 lbs in Weight Watchers yet again, then stalled. It niggled at me some more. I heard people say, "Weight Loss Surgery" is for the weak. It is the easy way out. It is a cop out. It is.... (fill in the blank). And people spend THOUSANDS of dollars on surgery. It is, on average, about $30,000 for weight loss surgery (averaging all of them here). This makes one balk - but then again, how much money have I spent over the years in tring to lose weight?

But let's think about the stats for an obese person to lose weight the "right" way - with diet and exercise. I recently read (in more than one venue) that only about 5% of those who are classified as obese will lose the weight and keep it off. 5%!! I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound like it's all my fault if I work so hard and just can't keep it off. I read that once an obese person passes age 35, they stand a 1% chance of losing the weight an keeping it off - without surgery.

So here it is - after years of struggle - a lifetime in fact. And years of beating myself up, crying, working, starving myself - I've decided to get weight loss surgery. Yes me, always in the past considered "the STRONG one." Well I've decided that Weight Loss Surgery does NOT make me weak. It is not the easy way out - it is the NECESSARY way for me to regain my health and regain my LIFE. I do not want to be 65 and still struggling like my father with losing weight.

I have decided that Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy is the surgery for me. It is less invasive than gastric bypass, but gives me the TOOL to eat a lot fewer calories (500 to 800 per day) while not starving. I've petitioned my insurance. If they deny, I'm going to appeal. If they deny again, I'll appeal again and this time with my chosen surgeon trying a face to face with them. If they deny after all that - I'll find a medical loan company to give me a $10,000 loan, and I'll go to Mexico. At least two of the top bariatric surgeons in the world operate out of state-of-the-art hospitals in Mexico, and it's a hellova lot cheaper than here in the United States.

I have spent upwards of $50,000 over my adult life on weight loss foods, tools, programs, books...you name it. I can find a way to spend less than a used car loan on my LIFE. It's not the easy way out, trust me. But it's MY way out.